Today, I’m sharing a guest post by Sandie Heckman. Sandie is a member of God-Living Girls with Chronic Illness and does regular posts on our group Facebook page. Her posts are a big encouragement to the ladies in our group, since we can often identify with the challenges she faces and they always bring our eyes back on the Lord. Sandie blogs at https://soulwriterforhim.wordpress.com/ and is the author of Son Drenched. Enjoy!
Sometimes, it’s okay to get mad, really stomp your feet mad, hands in the air mad!
I tried to clean my bathroom this morning. Because I can’t stand long because of a botched knee replacement (makes my foot feel like it’s being hammered into the floor), because I can’t kneel down, because- because-because!!!
I have a scrubber with a handle and I sat on the tub to clean, and I started to curse (yeah sometimes I do). I yelled “stupid knee, stupid back – stupid body… and I kept scrubbing- crying and the more I rinsed the tub, the worse it got! My cat even came in and sat there staring at me!
“I quit” I yelled. My cats ears went back and he darted out of there as I hobbled to the kitchen, sliding my body against the wall.
I looked out my sliding glass door and saw the sun. I went out on my porch, sat down and cried the blues. Then I saw it! Trees dancing in the sky…branches with new green leaves shaking and moving to the breeze. Trying to slow down, I started praising God for all the good I could see outside…for my eyesight, even and for my daughter and mom, and the list kept coming.
Finally- He granted me grace and peace. Finally I allowed my soul to be cleansed in that moment. I let His light in and my wounded soul was refreshed- I praised God even more!
Sometimes we have to go to those angry, self-pity moments to allow ourselves to let all the grieving in our hearts go. I grieve for who I was and what I used to be able to do, but when I let the light of Jesus in -I know I’m renewed in Him.
We are not alone in this journey- He’s right here with us holding us in an embrace that heals our wounded hearts, bodies and minds.
Let His light in!
Thank you for sharing your heart and feelings Sandie Heckman. I am having a flare up with arthritis in my neck and I am very frustrated. I realized God must want me to rest. 🙂
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I have my garden organised [ well my fit husband does] so that, when I need to have rest days, I can look out my bedroom windows and see flowers, autumn leaves, or at least greenery. Lifts my soul every time. Certainly helps reduce the litany of ” stupid knees, stupid ankle, stupid hip, stupid back, stupid aching body etc.”. Thanks for this Sandie and to Barbara for sharing it with us.
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